When life gives you lemons....

So I know it might seem extremely random to talk about Lemons on this cold January day, but it is with good reason. For those who don't know... I am pregnant. And according to my weekly update... our little baby is now the size of a lemon! So weird to me. But I can say it was better than last week's visual which was a shrimp... not a good visual for a seafood lover like myself.
I am currently in my 14th week, and I can honestly say I have had one(yes that is one) "good" week since we found out. In other words, On Tuesday of my fifth week I began getting sick. I am not talking about feeling sick I mean literally getting sick. After 6 straight days of vomitting throughout the day I was forced by my sweet husband to go to the doctor... where I had my first ultrasound and we saw a little peanut and heard a very loud strong heartbeat.
From there I was sent to the labor and delivery floor where I was admitted into the hospital for dehydration. For those who know me best... I am terrified of needles... so by the fourth attempt to get my IV in my patience was wearing thin. IT WAS AWFUL. I told the nurse to begin with that I had tiny veins, and being dehydrated made it much worse. So after she had burst the 2nd vein she called in a helper... She finally got it in the fourth time. OMG. Ok so just when I think I am done being the pin cushion... one of my tubes of blood they taken had clotted and she had to take more blood from my harm. FOR THE LOVE. After 2 huge bags of fluids and some anti- nausea meds they finally sent us packing. Unfortunately I am allergic to phinigrin (this is an entirely different story which involves "Petey the Parasite" which I brought home from our Dominican Republic honeymoon), So they tried a different anti-nausea med called Reglen (forgive the spelling) and it had very similar effects on me that the Phinigren did minus the convulsions (yes I said convulsions... if you would like a re-enactment please ask my sweet husband or one of my sisters as they too witnessed this phenomenon and love to show their version of the story). Needless to say, I did not sleep at all once we got home... therefore Beau did not sleep... and we were miserable on the following day. Little did I know that would only be the beginning of the next 8 1/2 weeks. Everyday, all day, and night too. It was awful.
I thought I was never going to make it through this pregnancy and I felt very overwhelmed, scared,confused and alone at times. Why is it that when things are going great it is so easy to be close to God. Then in times like I just experienced it was as if I was so sick, tired and weary and yet I somehow just felt like I was going through the motions... rather than relying FULLY on GOD to get us through. I have really struggled with this and it is not how I was raised OR how I have really delt with things in the past. Maybe it is because for the first time it was ME going through something... not my dad or grandparents, or mom etc. (does this make sense at all?)
SO all of that to say... last week (Tuesday to be exact) I woke up just like any other day and felt...NORMAL!! I was starving. I took full advantage of the newly refreshed appetite and I have been starving since. I had one bad day on Thursday but I think it was the vitamin I took mid-day on top of a not so good salad that I really don't like to remember... but since then I seem to be going strong. Physically that is... The Sunday before I started feeling better I really started to feel overwhelmed again ( I think this would be normal considering I had been sick for almost 3 months straight)I realized that I had been trying to handle everything on my own. I also realized that I had to change my thought process. And after a huge melt down, I felt much better on Monday and overall I have a better mental state of mind as well.
Sometimes I get really irritated when people post information that I find to be "really personal" on their blogs, facebook etc. BUT through everything I have been through the past three months I realize that maybe I am supposed to share what I have been through so others will know that everyone is different, and the crazy feelings are OK- I probably had them too. AND the Lord has delivered me from that valley maybe so I can be an encouragement to others who like me are not experiencing the "pregnancy them dreamed of" hahaha. As a side note, almost ALL of my friends who have been pregnant have commented how they never felt better and I have seen girls talk about how they loved being pregnant... AND I am happy for them. BUT honestly, I look forward to meeting our little gift from GOD but this has been one of the hardest and most challenging things I have ever gone through. That is for me and for Beau. Let me please brag on my husband... He has been right by my side... NONSTOP. Through the nitty-gritty, he has done the laundry, washed the dishes, folded the clothes, organized my drawers, re-organzied our closets, done the grocery shopping, cooking and the list goes on. I could NOT have made it the last 3 1/2 months without him. He is my best friend, my other half and my soulmate, I am so blessed.

Thought I would share a few pictures of my favorites that I could eat NONSTOP!